11241998

Sip Cycle

Wow I was going to make it home for Thanksgiving. Driving home in my 4-wheeler from Nashville on I-24, when all of the sudden I came around this curb and there is something in the road. I was going too fast! Hit the brakes….BAM BAM…I go into a spin, about 5 360°’s. When I slammed my brakes it cause my engine to stall, thus losing my power steering, thus having no steering. I make it to a stop on the left shoulder. A car pulls in behind me. I get out to check my car, its fine. I call to people to make sure everyone is alright. Go to my truck grab my MagLite™ and start running up the highway to get this thing out of the road. I thought it was a tree. It turns out to be a 20 Foot piece of guard rail. Some guys followed me up there, we examined the guard rail and found a big truck trailer tire wedged into it. As we walked back up the road we kept finding pieces if truck.

While I was back there some idiot didn’t slow down and slammed into the car behind me. Good thing they were behind me. Kept me from getting hit. It was a lady with her two little girls traveling to visit some friends. They were from South Carolina. The little girls were scared to death.

I began helping people fix tires and such since my car appeared to be alright. It was a lot of chaos for a while. Luckily no one was hurt. Not too much damage. But a lot of flat tires.

People, keep in mind that when you come across a scene like this one the highway, slow down. There’s a lot of stuff going on and a lot of people standing on the road. Some people kept speeding past us. The turkey can wait a few minutes. It can’t wait 50 years for vehicular manslaughter.

11191998

Once you Black…

I get stuck at the Petro in Atlanta, Georgia and was going to deliver in the morning. I planned on taking a shower, getting something to eat and kick back and watch television. Just as I was finishing up my logs this guy comes up to my truck. I start talking to him and find out his dad is a terminal manager for my company in Blytheville, Arkansas. Small world. After we all got cleaned up, we met in the restaurant to eat. He is a trainer and had his trainee with him. After waiting an hour for our food we ended up getting it for free. Alright something cool happened.

After dinner Daryl suggested we he go across the street to the strip club. I usually hate strip clubs. You see a bunch of naked women, get all turned on and go home alone.

I didn’t have much money but I wanted a beer after the week I had. Us three white boys went in to find we were the only three white boys in the whole place. My first thought was this was going to be an experience. Daryl was cool with it but his Trainee, C.J. was a little freaked out.

I was impressed. Those black women were really cool people. They weren’t stuck up like in a white strip club. The women could really shake it too. I think I had more fun there than at a white strip club. So if your a black man reading this you probably already know, but if your a white boy, check it out.

In case your wondering about these first class ladies in Atlanta here’s the place:

10311998

Always meeting new People

October 31st was the day I moved into a new MATTCAVE. Nice place, lots of room and I can’t even touch the ceiling if I jump. The only problem was moving all my crap into the second floor apartment. But thanks to my good friends, Robin and Kurt, everything went a little more smoothly. But when I was finally moved in and ready to go, I was tired. I’ve gotten out of shape sitting on my butt for 10 hours a day behind the wheel of a big truck.

My friend Ken caught up with me just as I went back to my old place for a last load of little stuff. He introduced me to his new girlfriend.

Latter we joined up with Kurt and his wife and my new next door neighbor, Dave. We headed down to The Black Horse Brewery for some home-brewed beer and gourmet pizza. We had a good time. There’s nothing like BSing with old and new friends.

On the way out, Ken and I were getting a little rowdy and making somewhat of a fool out of ourselves, what the hell it’s Halloween, when much to my surprise, sitting on the side of a window was this cute brunette. I asked her how she was doing. She said fine and came right up to my friends and I. For a split second I thought this must be my night. When all of the sudden, she hands me a pamphlet…..Oh No, a damn bible banger! She wanted to bless me and pray for me. She told me her story and how she found Jesus. She told us how boyfriend left her and then she didn’t get into the sorority she wanted. Basically lots of bad things happened to her. I think she was probably feeling lonely and insecure and looking for a place that accepted her. That was real special. I hate it when people force their beliefs on me.

This is where I take pride in being somewhat loner. I like hanging around people, socializing, but I can stand just as strong with no one around. Now I think “all I wanted to do was meet this pretty girl.” But I guess this is what I get for living at the turn of a century.

10091998

This is Octoberfest?

I’ve always heard all these good things about Octoberfest around the country. Sure they are nothing like the real Octoberfest but I thought it would be interesting here in my home town.

It really wasn’t anything I expected, except for the Pokka music. But I didn’t care, I was anxious to try some German beer these GI’s around here are always talking about. I get my wrist band. It said Icehouse. Cool, my favorite beer. I walked up to the beer station. It was full of American beer. So I asked for an Icehouse. They didn’t have any. I looked and my wrist again to make sure of what I read on it.

But they did have water-downed Lowenbrau. So I tried that. It was Ok. The band was worse than the beer. The prices on food were outrageous. The gifts and stuff were expensive and stupid. The carnival closed early (9:00 PM) so I didn’t check that out. If I didn’t get in free I would have hated myself for wasting money. Overall the place really sucked. If you ever get to Clarksville, Tennessee and someone tells you to check out Octoberfest, go tell them to jump in the Cumberland River! They’ll have more fun.

09261998

MATTMAN’s First Flashing

Well I’ve been driving a big truck for a little over 8 months now. It been pretty exciting at times. My first real thrill was driving down a country road and having a kid motion for me to blow my air horn. This happens quite a bit now and I’ve figured out how to make the horn sound funny….like a dying goose. That kind of throws the kids off guard, but they seem to like it.

I see a lot a lot of things as the “4-wheelers” pass by me. Like the time this lady held up a sign saying “I saw you picking your nose.”

But yesterday, I saw something I had only heard about and was waiting for it to happen. This lady flashed me. My first thought was “Hey! I finally got flashed.” But as I realized what exactly I was looking at, I realized that I shouldn’t have even looked. On a scale of 1-10, this woman was a minus 5. Next thing I know, I’m blind for the next 3 miles! Oh well, at least I was flashed.